HIM

Have you ever thought about what it would be like to date yourself, or maybe a slightly different version of yourself? I had thought about it and I thought it would be one of the most miserable experiences of my life; I was wrong.

At the time we were both married, my marriage was very close to the end, I knew that. His was unfulfilling at the time. I him met him kind of by accident, on a Wednesday. I actually responded to a personal ad online, how silly is that? We began with a couple emails and decided to chat with each other. It was a slow go at first, as he is a very cautious individual, we would email and we would chat a little the first couple days. We actually made plans to meet for coffee that Monday. I had sent him a couple flirty emails over the weekend, as I knew he was out of town. Late Sunday night, he sent me an email stating he couldn't meet me as he had a last minute meeting out of town. I was a little upset as I thought he was just blowing me off. I emailed him and said, if you are having second thoughts just let me know and we can cancel the whole thing. He said he didn't want to cancel and he would try to explain his schedule when we met. We chatted through IM the next couple days, and really got to know each other. Each of us sat there working with our chat windows open the whole work day, it was like we were sitting next to each other doing our work. Our personalities were so similar, yet we were raised completely differently. Different cultures, different religion, in a way different core values. Although, the more time we spent together, the more it became evident we had the same train of thought, the same step by step conclusions, many of the same values. There was an instant comfort factor. I felt like I knew him for a very long time. He acted the same way towards me.

The lunch date came, I was so nervous, and I could not figure out why. It was so odd because I felt like I knew him forever, yet I was seeing him face-to-face for the first time. I wondered if this was how people with pen pals in the 19th century felt if they ever got to meet each other. We talked right up until both of us had to leave. I got to the parking lot first; I could not believe how nervous I was. I am a pretty self-confident, self-assured woman, nervousness was not normal to me. What was it about his guy that was actually making me nervous? We ate lunch, and I was so nervous I couldn't eat, or even make eye contact. He commented about the eye contact, and I said believe it or not I can become extremely shy, and when I get that way I do not make eye contact. He was a little disturbed by this, but we continued to talk and eat. After we were done with lunch we went back to our chatting. It really did disturb him that I had a hard time making eye contact with him. I tried to assure him it did not have anything to do with not trusting him; it actually had to do with the fact that I really liked him.

We spent a lot of time with each other on-line and some time together face-to-face. The more time I spent with him, the more I realized how similar we are. We have the same thought patterns; let me explain that. Imagine you had to solve a puzzle and there are 100 pieces you could choose from. Many people start with the edges, some people start with the same colors or patterns, some people just start trying to put the pieces together. Now imagine you met someone that had to put the puzzle together with you. Every piece you went to grab, they were also trying to grab. If you decided to get a drink of water, they were also getting a drink of water. If there is a problem to be solved, you both come to the same conclusion. It is a really freaky and comforting situation at the same time. We began spending more time together on-line and we would see each other on a semi-regular basis.

The more time we spent together, the more it became evident how much we were a like. I would begin to ask him a question and then say never mind, I already know the answer. He would say, "No you don't, what is it?" I would proceed to tell him what I thought his answer would be; 99% of the time I was correct. He could do the same thing to me. One time, we were meeting at the movies. I am perpetually early. We were supposed to meet at quarter after the hour. At 25 after the hour I was waiting in front of the theater, basically pacing. No phone call, no text, no car, what the hell happened? I was basically starting to panic, as is my normal behavior. All of a sudden I saw his car pull in. I began walking towards him, the first thing out of his mouth was, “I called you 3 times and it went straight to voicemail." He showed me his pone and my number was on it 3 times. He said, I know what you were thinking, you were thinking I totally ditched you, and I was blowing you off. I said, "No, I wasn't thinking that." He said, “Yes you were, I know how you are.”He was right; I totally thought he was blowing me off. So far our whole relationship has been like that. Each of us says, "Scary" to each other because it feels like we can read each other's minds.